Muara Hati

Monday, 16 February 2009

feeling down

These past few weeks I've been feeling extremely down....

adj insecure [insiˈkjuə] :

1 unsure of oneself or lacking confidence. i.e "Whenever he was in a crowd of people he felt anxious and insecure."

2 not safe or firmly fixed. i.e "This chair-leg is insecure; an insecure lock."

adv inseˈcurely

n inseˈcurity

Kernerman English Learner’s Dictionary © 1986-2008 K Dictionaries Ltd and partners. All rights reserved.

sometimes...I tend to be very insecure...emotionally...n as stated in my previous post, I think too much about everything...n usually, I think for the worst....*sigh*

I'm afraid that people will dislike me...especially those whom I really care about...the matter is, when I really care about a particular person, I will try not to overly show it...I will show it as subtly as I can bcoz I'm afraid they will be bored of me..I'm afraid they will loath me...I'm afraid they will think that I'm pathetic =(

what hurts the most is, when the person I care about does not care about kills me that the person does not enjoy my company....n would rather be with everyone else but me (despite all the "subtle" things I did...haha) *OMG...I am pathetic!* especially if we're really close n suddenly everything changes without me knowing the reason why...or when somebody else comes into the picture n suddenly, things go differently...why it has to be this way? *my heart shattered to pieces n I'm not being dramatic* maybe I shouldn't have cared about a person too much to avoid from feeling this miserable...or should I show my emotions excessively so that they will notice for sure? (I really don't think I can do that)


p/s: I don't know why I'm typing and sharing this...maybe as a result of me being overly insecure rite now...maybe I need to let it out...subtly

p/ss (is there such thing?): this entry is NOT about a boy...I repeat - NOT ABOUT A BOY...tq


ainifairuS said...

...and when will i read ur so-called subtle emotion idiom over a BOY plak? :)))

tuan, if it's not a BOY...lg lah senang...why shud u hide ur feelings over ur girl mate? do not put urself in a such unnecessary torture, dear....

let it go...loving is all bout u r unable to convey your feelings over her and that is what has been putting u in ths absurd mental torment...

u'll feel much better if u reaching her out tuan....:)))

bdk beSh said...

oh peoz...u're absolutely rite
i should try to be more expressive la kn
but....its really really really hard for me to express my feelings
to anybody

kem said...

ko bkn lesbo kan?
if yes, we shud meet up..yum2..

hahaha. ayat xleh blah.
xpe. kami syg ko.
apalagas, cepat la blnja tony romas..eceh..


bdk beSh said...

tidak! tidak!!
aku definitely bkn lesbo
this is more like a feeling of loosing a bestfriend
or a sister

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