Muara Hati

Monday, 16 February 2009

feeling down

These past few weeks I've been feeling extremely down....

adj insecure [insiˈkjuə] :

1 unsure of oneself or lacking confidence. i.e "Whenever he was in a crowd of people he felt anxious and insecure."

2 not safe or firmly fixed. i.e "This chair-leg is insecure; an insecure lock."

adv inseˈcurely

n inseˈcurity

Kernerman English Learner’s Dictionary © 1986-2008 K Dictionaries Ltd and partners. All rights reserved.

sometimes...I tend to be very insecure...emotionally...n as stated in my previous post, I think too much about everything...n usually, I think for the worst....*sigh*

I'm afraid that people will dislike me...especially those whom I really care about...the matter is, when I really care about a particular person, I will try not to overly show it...I will show it as subtly as I can bcoz I'm afraid they will be bored of me..I'm afraid they will loath me...I'm afraid they will think that I'm pathetic =(

what hurts the most is, when the person I care about does not care about kills me that the person does not enjoy my company....n would rather be with everyone else but me (despite all the "subtle" things I did...haha) *OMG...I am pathetic!* especially if we're really close n suddenly everything changes without me knowing the reason why...or when somebody else comes into the picture n suddenly, things go differently...why it has to be this way? *my heart shattered to pieces n I'm not being dramatic* maybe I shouldn't have cared about a person too much to avoid from feeling this miserable...or should I show my emotions excessively so that they will notice for sure? (I really don't think I can do that)


p/s: I don't know why I'm typing and sharing this...maybe as a result of me being overly insecure rite now...maybe I need to let it out...subtly

p/ss (is there such thing?): this entry is NOT about a boy...I repeat - NOT ABOUT A BOY...tq

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